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And here I am. Barb Hay. Divorce and separation Coach. With a touch of therapeutic art to offer.

Using my knowledge and experiences gained, not just through marriage and long-haul divorce, all my life skills and challenges have helped me become a natural Emotional Coach.

As an Expatriate with over 15 years of experience, gaining extensive knowledge of the challenges and rewards of a nomadic lifestyle, continually adapting to new communities. I understand the complexities of returning back to your homeland, and rebuilding your life and community. This is a demanding task, especially with the pressure of separation and divorce. I had to learn the hard way, nevertheless all experiences acquired are valuable assets that I can incorporate into my coaching toolkit.

During backpacking days, a surfing accident bashed me to the seabed harshly, and within a month I lost my hearing. I had to adjust to lip reading quickly, and a different way of life. Accepting my situation, taking full control and learning new life skills.

I spent several years with deafness and hearing aids. I learned British Sign Language. After two successful operations, regained 84% hearing, I continued BSL, passionate about the language and culture.

During my divorce I hit the darkest times, moments I’ve flipped into the most valuable experiences and tools, enabling me to resonate how others feel. A chapter and or a book is on the horizon too!

My coaching objective is to assist you in rebuilding your life, gaining validation, knowledge and clarity. Acquiring or awakening the ability to transform yourself, enable you to rebalance and adapt to a new life effectively.

I have walked my talk! Not an easy walk I might add, and what felt like a never ending one. However, I have turned my pain to perspective, to regain personal power and control.

“There is far more to it than the above, being your guiding light we’ve got this”.

So, what is a Divorce Coach and why would you need one?

Divorce is a huge adjustment, even if it’s not toxic or difficult, the emotional imbalance happens to the best of us.

The pain that one will go through is not just dividing up the finances. Divorce represents huge loss of a relationship and change to a family unit. Loss of a way of life.

It is not easy to go through this grief; your family and friends may not see it as ‘loosing someone’. You may hear “you’re just splitting up”, “get over it, get on with a new life”. It's not that simple, and you could end up going into new relationships with the same outcome!

Accepting the end of a marriage or relationship needs full on navigational skills that we have not acquired naturally or lost. It is completely personal to each individual. It is all about what is best for you, during our coaching sessions we build new tools to help you move forward.

Finding the right support team to prepare for all changes is a minefield. Not all lawyers suit you, it is not ‘one size fits all’. It’s financially costly, and as emotional as the break up itself.

If separating from a toxic, or controlling partner, it will be a never-ending maze. You might ask many questions such as “how long will divorce take”. That depends on your support and legal team! You will learn how to take control and make significant decisions.

I am connected with a vast network of coaches, mediators, solicitors, healers, and have the resources you may find beneficial. Drawing upon a diverse range of lived experiences, together with the coaching tools we will guide you.

Top Tips and ideas coaching can guide you with:-

This is the time for good support. It is not something you can do alone. Ask for help.
Your grief, feelings and emotions are important. Allow your feelings to come to the surface, sit with those feelings. Talk to a friend or your coach regarding how you feel.
Only you know what is right for you, a coach can help you work and plan for this.
Recognise that relationships break down. It is not your fault. Facing each stage is inevitable. Coaching can take you through each stage so you are not alone or lost.
Understanding emotions: - scared, sad, angry or overwhelm are normal feelings. Coaching helps you gain clarity, dial down negative feelings and flip them.

Learn About Packages

Expat spouse - it’s all gone Belly-up!

Are you an expat spouse living overseas whose relationship has ended? Do you need to leave? Feeling lost, isolated, and confused?

Perhaps it’s due to an affair or your health has been compromised. How do you start to return home?

Expat life can be exciting, rewarding, and financially beneficial, especially for the whole family.

It can also be challenging, isolating, and overwhelming, destroying relationships due to significant challenges, especially if the relationship had been struggling before.

The lack of community support can be lethal when you need a support system that understands your challenges, especially if you must leave and return home. Where is home? Do you have a support network back home?

People often move abroad for financial reasons, unhappiness with their lives back home, poor career choices, or romantic problems. Stuck in a rut.

Expats are hopeful that their new-life-will-fix-all! However, If the dirty baggage (relationship struggles) wasn’t dealt with before you left, it will simply be unpacked on arrival!

Make sure you move for the right reasons, and all your family are on the same page before you leave, most importantly you and your spouse understand the pros and cons of expat life.

Important and urgent questions to ask pre, during and if you need to return home alone!:-

Is your relationship strong enough right now?
Are you safe?
Are you a partnership with your spouse, especially financially? or kept in the dark!
Is there one main earner in the family?
Do you share ALL the financial information on a regular basis, at least monthly to understand all family finances?
Have there been financial issues? Have any finances been hidden?
How will you support yourself emotionally and financially when you move?
How will you support your children if they struggle emotionally?
Especially if the country you live in has a different language!
How do you deal with financial details pre moving? Do you discuss them with ease!
How will you deal with finances while living overseas?
Will your spouse pay into your state pension? And will your spouse provide a private pension while his income has increased, and you can’t work?
Do you have or need an interpreter for important needs and legal issues?
How will you manage the emotional shifts pre, during expat life, and if you need to return home?
Will your spouse support you and the family emotionally and financially? Including if you return home?
If not, who will?

My unfortunate Expat experience has been extensive, I have flipped the experience into a powerful knowledge 'Tool Kit' designed to guide you step-by-step through your own personal situation, specifically 'How to Leave and Return Home'. If you would like more details and the Tool Kit please feel free to email me for further information.